sounding off

Looking for a chance to speak your mind?  Get your questions answered?  Interact with others who share your faith?  Well, here’s your chance!  Post your questions, rants, whatever!  If you have personal questions that you’d rather not share with the world you can send me an email and I’ll do my best to post an answer or point you in the right direction anonymously.

Post your comment!

sounding off 3/30/09

comment: My best friend is in a christian school and he is very anti-chiristian. He curses all the time using the lords name in vain and its pretty tough to talk to him. . .what do i do?  - Kevin

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for your question. You certainly aren't alone in this situation. Many people, of all ages, have similar concerns. 

Unfortunately, not all students in Christian schools demonstrate Christian behaviors. In fact, there are certainly students in Christian schools who are not Christian. Satan is working very hard to tempt Christians and lead them away from saving faith. This is not something to take lightly.

The good news is that this person is still in a Christian environment so he is hearing the Gospel on a regular basis and is surrounded by other students who are better at demonstrating their faith.

Here are some key issues to remember:

• Your friend might truly be a Christian, but is struggling at this point with a proper demonstration of his faith
• Your friend might be ignorant of the damage he is causing by his behavior
• Your friend might not understand the connection between a Christian lifestyle and his poor language
• Your friend's violation of God's command to use His name properly is sin, but it is no worse that any other sin Jesus died for you, your friend, and all people and he should realize how important that is
• Your friend will not realize that you are offended by his language unless you tell him

Here are some suggestions:
Find a good time to talk to your friend about his language. Choose a time when you won't be interrupted or overheard. Tell him that you would like him to change his language to a style that is reflective of a sanctified Christian. Tell him that his poor language is causing a conflict in your friendship. Don't belittle him in your discussion, but encourage him to realize there are better options. He might be using the crude language to act "adult" or tough. Let him know that you would feel more comfortable if he didn't talk that way. Don't say you think he is no longer a Christian, but tell him that his language is not helping him demonstrate his Christian faith.

There is a good chance that he will be angry with you for discussing this and he might want to avoid you for a while. Don't worry if that happens. He might just need some time to think about your comments.

Above all, pray for your friend and for your ability to discuss this with him in a way that is effective. Ask the Lord to guide you with the timing and the words to say.

Lord's blessings on your efforts, Kevin. Your concern is an indication that you are a good and true friend. 

sounding off 9/25/07

Comment: I really like this guy.....how can I get him to notice me without sinning? He goes to my church but how do I get him to notice that I’m there without being inappropriate?  - Angela

Hi Angela!  First off I’d like to commend you for being so concerned about not sinning while trying to get a guy to notice you!  You are definitely headed in the right direction.  Since this guy goes to your church it should be really easy to talk to him casually and see if you two click.  This is also a promising situation because you already have something in common – you go to the same church and share the same faith.  Find out if he’s involved in anything at church and if it is something that interests you too.  Then you can talk to him in the context of a shared interest and not feel awkward.  If this isn’t possible try and talk to him after the service – if you can’t think of anything to say, talk about the pastor’s sermon or an event that’s coming up.  Remember that it’s really important to see if you’re compatible as friends before you push the dating thing.  So once you start talking to him try and hang out together outside of church.  If you both find out that you like each other sit down and talk to your parents and make sure they are okay with you having a boyfriend.  And who knows, they may have some tips for you!